…Why can’t I find you? Why have you gone away? Where is the laughter you used to bring me? Why can’t I hear music play?
My world is changing, I’m rearranging. Does that mean Christmas changes too?
Where are you Christmas? Do you remember, the one you used to know? I’m not the same one. See what the time’s done. Is that why you have let me go?
With Christmas just under 18 days away, it’s hard to believe. As we grow older we realize just how much faster the years fly by. When the holidays hit, I feel as if that’s the hardest moment of realization. That’s not the only thing that makes the holidays more depressing as we grow older. Instead of the delight of waking up Christmas morning to a bunch of gifts glistening under the tree from Santa, we are scrambling to find extra work hours to be the ones to provide that. From nothing but anticipation, joy, and excitement as kids, to stress, more stress, and depression as adults. It’s more than realizing life is progressively flying by, it’s a look back on the simplicity of childhood and missing it.
I remember Christmas time being the best time of the year! Having our house thoroughly decorated inside/outside. Spending an entire day decorating cookies and laying them out with milk for Santa. Sprinkling the yard with magic reindeer food/dust/erm stuff? All the cool crafts and general easiness during December in school and lack of it. Spending Christmas Eve with family filled entirely of good food and laughs. Enjoying all of the Christmas movies and shows on TV. Spending all of Christmas day unwrapping gifts and playing with them through the night. The overall warm and fuzzy feeling inside the whole month.
That was then. This is now.
Working nonstop. Errands, cleaning, & scrambling to buy gifts with no money while hoping not to get any myself since I can’t give back. Dreading Christmas knowing it’s just another day, but a more depressing one missing what I once had and felt as an innocent child with no worries in life. Working too much for time to decorate. No cookies unless they’re ready-bake ones. Missing all of the good shows and movies due to work. Spending all of Christmas trying to put a meal together and in my bedroom watching 24hrs of a Christmas story. Working the day before and after…It’s just another day, just a day off from work.
Call me a Scrooge, but I find no joy in Christmas anymore. Not even Christmas music brings me into the spirit, and that was the last ounce of spirit I could find. I feel like poor little Cindy Lou who, but at least she found it again in the end. She was still young, though. I’m glad that I get to work the local Amusement Park this December. I worked it in the summer and then fall for Halloween. With all of the lights and music and good moods from all of the workers and guests, that definitely helps A LOT. At least I can feel some holiday spirit while working!
This, of course is larger than just Christmas. I wish in this day and age we had time to sit back and enjoy life and the holidays. Instead, we are all forced into working two, three jobs on average just to live. There’s no time for enjoyment. It’s very sad, and again, Christmas is the time of the year in which everything builds up to one, big realization.