I have been saying, ‘with age comes wisdom’ a lot to myself lately. Ever since I have created a new life for myself, I have been discovering myself in a whole new light. This has especially been true with friendships and dating.
I grew up and set up my own morals for myself. I always told myself I would go by my “rules” and never break them. Well, now that I am older and have been through some life experiences, I found out that sometimes breaking or bending rules works for the better. I have also discovered the ones that have no room for leeway or change.
The biggest rule broken is not taking too many risks; that rule has unfortunately grown to be more strict over the years instead of more lenient. There came a point in my life where I looked at a tree and thought, “I used to climb these without a care of falling or getting hurt”. It was a strong moment of realization that I am not taking enough risks, having fun, falling down, and feeling the joy of getting back up again physically/mentally. I want to be able to climb trees, both figuratively and literally without too many cares. With age, I have gained wisdom and that little voice in my head screaming when something is not a good idea, but I have been listening to it too much. It is all about finding a perfect balance, and of course that comes with age.
I also enjoy being spontaneous, not having plans, and just going with the flow. When I was little, I would never know what the day held for me. As an adult, we live off of schedules and look at the time more times than we can possibly count throughout a day. I miss being able to go outside to play and not have a clue as to what we were doing, but knew that the day held a lot of fun to be had that would end with cuts and bruises covered in dirt. In the adult mind, it is: I don’t have the time for that, dirty clothes means more laundry, if I actually get hurt, I’ll have to see a doctor, and I don’t have the time/money for any of that nonsense.
The second largest rule I have been breaking is all about dating and friendships. Trust is always a big issue, and no matters what, it makes and breaks friendships to me. That will never change. Aspects that do change, however, is learning the type of people that I get along with the best. For me, it is just about all groups of people! I have always been “everyone’s friend” growing up, or a “floater” because I was never with one ‘group’ of people. Again, something that will never change, but I am learning who I get along with the best, which basically is people that have sick humor like me and just LOVE to be wild and have fun! That is the same when it comes to dating, apparently.
In my mind, I, especially being a woman, had the ‘perfect’ person made-up in my mind as a significant other. Someone with morals like me was once top on my list. I also told myself that life would be perfect, and I would get it right the first time dating someone, and that the bond would last forever. (I guess I was somehow high my whole life. I blame the childhood fairytales). I thought, I’ll wait and be friends with someone for a long time before I jump into being considered in a relationship, thinking that would be the key. The problem with that, I found, is that you cannot discover what you need and want in another person with just one try. It is extremely rare that things work out the first time through; if anything, it’s the third because everything is in threes, right? After some experience and time with people, I learned so much about myself, and it will definitely help in the future.
After the first trial-and-error, I mostly learned that I need someone that’s intellectual to an extent. I need someone I can have a decent conversation with, and debate with (I absolutely love debating). The second trial-and-error, I found that someone that is as outgoing as I am with a wild humor like me is a necessity. The biggest from both, that luckily was never a complete failure, is a person that understands my independent and strong personality that covers a soft and girly side that I have.
A close friend of mine, whom is very wise in my opinion, once told me something that has stuck with me quite well: find out what you need in a person, and have to have, then find out what you want, and can do without. I am doing just that now, and it is working out quite grand for me.
Furthermore, I have learned that a person doesn’t have to be perfect, and that their flaws make them who they are. I don’t dwell on their past too much, but respect who they’ve become in the present time. It all comes down to me over-thinking and letting my brain decide everything for me rather than my heart. My heart and gut-feelings will lead me to where I need to be too, rather it be relationships, jobs, or risks taken. A broken spirit, heart, or even bone is always well worth the fun that was had along the way. You can either run and cannonball into a cold pool, or you can start slowly by dipping a toe in…I’m diving head first now so there’s not always an easy way of turning back.
I am mixing wisdom and starting a new life together in every aspect of my life. I am interested in seeing where life will take me while gaining knowledge and wisdom continuously evermore.