The hardest thing in life is to be genuinely happy, and being able to stay optimistic, have self-confidence, and keeping your head above the water. The odds against us are stacked up, and we are the ones to be blamed.
I feel as if people these days are so greedy to feel self-empowerment over others, that compliments are hard to hear, a lending hand is never around, and shoulders to cry on walk away with peoples’ back turned so coldly. I notice many people being praised for stuff that shouldn’t be, mostly in an indirect way. Look at the teenage pregnancies being spotlighted on television. It’s like saying hey, here’s a television show for your irresponsibility and maturity in life. Do teenagers that are making a difference in this world get a television show? No. They are in the shadows of life and no one knows of them…Sickening.
Over the years, confidence has been hard to achieve, but easy to lose. Growing up, our parents praised us for everything from good behavior, encouragement to talk, taking our first steps, and even to go one and two in a toilet and not diapers. As the years go by, we are praised by schoolwork and sport achievements. As adults, it’s as if we receive no encouragement to gain and maintain confidence anymore. It’s kind of like, well it’s what you are supposed to do, what? you want a cookie? People love to hear kind words, but don’t like to give them to others, so there’s never an even exchange, and now an absent one all together.
I find it hard to get through life without any confidence. How can a person feel good about themselves and what they do if no one seems to care? It’s a hard struggle, and people go to great lengths just to find an ounce of encouragement. For me personally, it’s deteriorating. I do my best to make the lives of everyone better. I put my happiness on the back burner so someone else can be happy. In turn, their happiness gives me the best form of happiness. I would never wish to change my ways, but why can’t anyone ever give a simple thank you? Oh, that’s right, it’s because people don’t have manners these days either and only care about personal gain.
My greatest struggle in life is confidence, and I’ve realized it over the years. I guess it has gotten so obvious over time because many people are even pointing it out. I can watch a show of Jeopardy, know the answer without second-guessing myself, but not say it, fearing it’ll be wrong. If I’m asked a question, 9/10 times I know the answer, but either pretend to not know it, or give a wrong answer fearing that my correct answer will be wrong. Honestly, what’s the difference, though? It’s always the same outcome in reality. Wrong answers and mistakes are accepted in the same way as being “perfect”.
I am an overachiever to an extreme level. At work, I give 110%, just like I give that much of an effort in EVERYTHING I do in life. I know what I’m capable of, and don’t accept anything less of myself. This past year I had an intense, yet mature and professional argument with one of my managers. I did nothing wrong at all. Surprisingly, I was being told that I do too much, and that I work too hard, and need to not. Why is laziness and “half-assing” everything so accepted in this world now, but trying your best and giving something your best effort, not? I cannot count how many times at all of the different jobs I’ve had my managers telling me I work too hard. Just because I go the extra ten miles, that doesn’t give someone the right to put me down for it. Why can’t someone just once say, hey, job well done! Oh ya, because everyone needs to feel that they’re better than everyone else. Got it.
Besides work, when I do things that aren’t for pay, but for the pure passion for it and the want to help people, that too gets put down. I’m a firefighter. Instead of being welcomed into the department for wanting to do what they do, I’ve fought for years just to be looked at and talked to just because I’m a female, and little (but strong). I can’t run as a volunteer on an ambulance, either. When people hear that I do such things, they just ask why because I’m not getting paid. Sorry that I don’t want to be? It’s hard to reply to that. I’m not looking for praise at all, but hearing something like, ‘oh that’s cool’, instead of ‘ew why’? would be pretty nice and help me feel as if I’m doing something good, not bad.
Everyday I try to better myself and learn new things. I’m extremely passionate about broadening my knowledge and learning new skills, or information. Everything that I am fascinated about, no one wants to hear about. When I learn a new skill, no one is interested in seeing it or maybe learning from me about it. The days aren’t the same. I cannot run up to someone like a small child to their parent going, ‘mommy/daddy!! look what I learned/can do!’ and hearing, ‘that’s great, hunny! We’re so proud of you!’ No. It’s, hey, wanna hear/see something cool?…not getting a response but continuing anyway…and then having people turning their backs, not even pretending to be interested. Quite rude. Very.
Life’s standards are so poor these days. If I were to go to some people and go, ‘Oh dude, I totally got smashed last night and puked my brains out!’, I would get a high five. Saying, ‘I just took supplies over to a third world country and helped better the lives of many’, wouldn’t even get a response. People don’t “like” stuff like that on Facebook or life. Being different, and doing what’s right seems to be a lonely world these days. People seem to not like people that are different at all. Again, self-empowerment over others comes into play. Kids, especially, like to pick on others that aren’t like them to feel better about themselves. Why is feeling better about yourself worth significantly hurting another?
What’s truly sad is the rare instance in which compliments are received, and not knowing how to respond to them. Wait! What!? I heard positive feedback? I’m honestly speechless!…I mean, that’s terrible. I’m not used to hearing good things, the rare times that I do, I do not know how to react to it. It’s just how people will go to no end of an effort to complain about bad service or a product, but how many people take the time to report a great product or service? It just doesn’t happen.
Looking on the brighter side of everything, being who you are, despite the odds and fitting in is a very rewarding and outstanding accomplishment. Though it will never feel like it from the outside from the response and lack of response you get from it, as long as YOU know you’re a better person for it, and YOU like who YOU are without negative influence, a feeling of self-pride can be found on the inside.
Each day, try to give someone a compliment/make them feel good about themselves in one way or another. A few simple words can change, or even save the life of someone. Don’t expect anything back from anyone out there, because it is rare. At least when it does happen, once every blue moon, it feels a million times better than you would ever expect.
To anyone out there that feels that they aren’t good enough, and that they’re all alone. Know that there really are people out there that care about you and that your life is important and precious. Life easily can bring you down, and that’s okay, but stand tall and bare with it. It’s alright. We can all make it through the struggle to stay afloat and help each other to do so.